Dissilio 5th, 10,1017 Taken from BREAKING NEWS: It is my displeasure to bring the most current news to Simul. As much as I would love to not have to relay this information, it is my duty to keep you all informed and as safe as I can. With that, I must weave together the details of last night’s horrors.  Before the sun began to descend, something else fell upon our great kingdom. From what we can gather, the first attack was in Korrig. Despite the docks already having taken a major hit, it appears the assailants decided they needed to come back to finish the job. Unfortunately, the structures are a complete loss. Even worse, it has been reported that more than 20 people are still missing while the casualties are nearing the same number and injuries have topped 33.  From what we can tell, the next attack was shortly thereafter in Timberholde. Every city entrance was reportedly blown apart and virtually sealing the city inside of itself. This also included grave damage to the newest addition, the train. The station and surrounding area have been destroyed beyond repair. Casualties have reached 67, more than 40 have been injured and another 17 are still missing.  Another attack mere hours after came in the form of another explosion. This one took out the entirety of the bridge from the mainland to Curet Insula. No fatalities have been reported, but it has only been a few hours since receiving the news and searches are still in effect.  I wish I could say that I have reported everything. I wish I could tell you great people that we can recover from this. I wish I had the magic words…something to give you all hope. Unfortunately, with this last piece of information I have to bear, I cannot fathom how we are to unite. At just past 8 last night, Eleutheria and our royal family was attacked. According to the guards and surviving staff, nothing was out of the ordinary until they heard Hilda scream and then what sounded like a man being tortured. This man is assumed to be King Alfred. Apparently, shortly after, a fire broke out, causing many of the people who also lived in the castle to flee with little to nothing to the second story of the city. Still, 13 are missing and feared dead. The royal family was never located, even after the fire was quelled.  There was but a note left at the scene. This note had a confession and confessions to more crimes that were, unfortunately, confirmed this morning. The entire Fortescue bloodline has been murdered. Sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, grandfathers and grandmothers… all of the bloodline has been taken from Simul in the most horrid of ways. I cannot even begin to write what information I have been given.  Simul…please. PLEASE be safe. I know we are now living in a very uncertain time. I have faith that we will be okay. Please, look after yourselves, your families, your neighbors and your cities.  This is Flynn, signing off.

Year 10,012 Month of Ver With the impending invasion of the Lich King, Sidisi, King Alfred Fortescue called forth many people he considered powerful or noble. One of which being Silver Drafaylum. The two came to an agreement to let Silver use the lands of Concordia to build upon for troops from Silver's home realm. This included snow elves mostly. Seemingly overnight, the city was rebuilt. Now it is home to thousands of elves. All are welcome, however.

This next entry into Quenyas journal is what is happening to her while she is in a coma. Darkness, all that could be seen was darkness. Quenya looked around in fear, she was unsure of where she was. She no longer felt her connection to Silver or feel the life growing inside of her. It was not the void, she could not feel her people or any of the other denizens of the void. The realization of being truly alone lead to a rather nasty panic attack. Quenya might have been a force to be reckoned with and unshakeable in combat being completely alone was her worst fear. While in her panicked state she started running. Everything may have been black, the world still felt…familiar and solid. She screamed for Silver, Falvir, anyone honestly. She pushed her mind as far out as she could to find anything in the vast empty space she found herself in. She ran until her legs gave out and she fell flat on her face. The screams and broken hearted wails she sent into the emptiness just echoed back at her making her cry, and scream harder as she curled into a ball. Her voice gave out eventually and her mind went blank as one thought repeated itself. “ Is this what death truly feels like?” She always thought it would be far more pleasant, she knew the god she followed was real and had a place for her followers. Then again she did some horrible things in the pursuit of peace. Her existence was full of death as she destroyed her enemies with such glee. That was it she was in a place just for monsters, a fitting place to be she felt. Quenya refused to move for what felt like months as she silently accepted the fact she was a monster and deserved this fate. The only thing that pulled her out of her depression even for a moment was a strange pressure on her side. Every now and again Quenya felt like someone was pushing on her side and whispering to her. It was too quiet to hear the words being spoken, it was like trying to listen to the wind. The more it happened the more she paid attention. She uncurled from the ball she made herself into, When she did that the words finally came to her. Whenever she felt the pressure she heard Vincent telling her to wake up, sometimes it was accompanied by Silver's voice as he read to her. Whenever she heard her friends voice it broke her heart, even though she could hear him, their connection was broken and she could not feel his presence. The brief connections she received from the real world convinced her that she was not dead, at least not yet. That meant she could get out of whatever was going one, Quenyas mind raced as she tried to figure out what had happened. Any thoughts of the fight were forgotten almost like she had never been in the fight. Eventually Quenya realized she was not alone, how she had not seen it before was astonishing. Then again maybe that one glimmer of life she felt had just appeared. It mattered not. she was no longer alone. She refused to jump to her feet at first, instead Quenya rolled to look at whatever was there. A man sat nearby with a table and chairs and what smelled like tea and some kind of food. Her stomach growled loudly and the man just laughed. Quenya narrowed her eyes on him, she could not tell what race he was, he looked human but he smelled and felt alien. His laughter did not echo like her cries had, it was soft and melodic and it drew her in. What the hell was he? “ Come and eat with Quenya, I am sure you are starving. You might be a soul but you still have to eat. This tea will also stop the pain in your legs.” the mention of her leg pain brought it right back into her mind and she almost screamed in pain. She had not used them in so long they felt like stone. Her groans of pain seemed to have an effect on the man but she could not be sure. The moment she squeaked and held back a scream Quenya could have sworn the corners of his mouth twitched like he was fighting a smile. She wanted to just tear into the man instead of eating with him, there was something strange about him and she did not like it. It took a few minutes to compose herself and get her legs to move properly but that did not seem to bother the man. He just poured himself a cup of tea and picked through some of the food on the table before finding some grapes to eat. He just ate and sipped his tea patiently. No more words were spoken until Quenya stood up and joined him at the table. The moment she sat down the man poured her a cup of tea before pushing a rather large turkey leg towards her. It had not been there before, it just appeared out of thin air making her even more nervous. Quenya eyed the turkey leg as she sipped the tea, It was Phoenix tea from her home realm. Her look of confusion got another laugh from the man before he asked her a question. “ Where do you think you are right now Quenya? A smart woman like you should have figured it out by now, maybe you are wondering how i know your name? “ How did he know what she was thinking? It was like he could read her mind or something, whatever he was doing she hoped what she said next would throw them off. “ I believe i am currently sitting in what could be called deaths waiting room. It is a place those in a coma typically go. When it comes to how you know my name thats an easy one, you are in my head so you would know my name as easily as i breath.” Her words didnt shake the man; he just laughed again and poured himself some more tea. “ Not bad Quenya, then again I figured the only child of the great wolf Hansa would figure it out. Unfortunately you are only half right, we are not in “ deaths waiting room.” We are in the realm for monsters like you, this place is where people are sent when they piss off mother.” The mention of being rejected by the god she followed cut her deep and almost sent her back into a fit of tears. She managed to fight the urge by grabbing the turkey leg and taking a large bite. It tasted so good, the seasoning was mouth watering and the meat fell off the bone. It was made just how her foster mother Rose used to make it. She lost all sense of manners and tore into the leg, the mixture of hunger and the memories of her lost friend had all of her attention. That was at least until the man mentioned her unborn children. “ i know this is going to be hard to hear but you have a decision to make, you can keep fighting for your life and risk the children, or you could just give in and pass on and give them a chance to live.” Quenya growled at the man and stood up so fast she knocked the chair, she pointed what remained of the turkey leg at him. Most of it was gone by now and all the was left was some small chunks of meat and a very sharp tip. She bit through the bone to get the marrow and the result was a sharp point she could kill someone with. “ My children will be just fine asshole as long as i am still alive my friends will figure out a way to get me back. If they are unable to they will make sure my children are delivered safely. Even the mother is not heartless enough to punish children for the mothers sins.” She got no response from the man beyond him standing up and smoothing out his tunic. “ I guess that is all for today, keep the tea and food I know you will be needing it.” His disappearance left her feeling like he had never been standing there. If the food and drink had not been there Quenya would have called herself crazy. The darkness pressed in on her again with the disappearance of the man, it felt heavier this time and she regretted becoming aggressive towards the man. It was incredibly nice of his to leave the tea and food for her. She was still so hungry it was hard to think beyond thoughts of food. Quenya righted the chair to sit down but she hesitated, the feeling of something being off came back in full force. She looked around for a moments before turning back to the food. She was proven right when she gazed at the table of food. Everything was rotten and maggot covered, A new person sat at the table as well. It was rotten and maggot covered just like the food. They were disgusting to look at, The being before her didnt speak. It just looked at her blankly as it ate the rotted food like nothing was wrong. Whatever it ate appeared back on the table. The look in its eyes was crazed but it only grew worse when it gazed upon Quenya, It smiled and opened its mouth to speak except it just spit out maggots everywhere. “ what is going on right now.” It was all Quenya could get out before the disgusting being attacked her. Its appearance was awful but somehow the smell made it past her senses. It hit her full force when the beings hands wrapped around her throat before forcing her to the ground. The things grip was intense for being a muscleless skeleton. It squeezed so hard it felt like Quenyas neck was going to snap. Her vision started to fade as she fought back only her body felt far to heavy to move. Every punch or kick felt like she was dragging it through mud, when she gave up fighting back the abomination strangling her vomited maggots into her face before it managed to speak. It was only one word and it was enough to give her the will to stay awake. “ Trap” was all the thing said before it was gone and the man was back and angrier than ever. His calm demeanor was gone, replaced with anger, and rage. “ What the hell do you think you are doing summoning something like that here. It could have killed you and your children would definitely die with you.” Quenya tried to catch her breath as she shook her head, when she could speak it was quick and almost pleading. “ i didnt do it i swear, it was just sitting there at the table. Please don't leave me again.” The man smiled and picked Quenya up, when he let go of her hand she was sitting at the table again and all the same food and tea was still at the table. She hid her disgust when she noticed a few pieces of food were slowly starting to rot with the passage of time. Whatever was going on was not good, every moment in that dark place was slowly chipping away at her mind and the mans appearances seemed to make it worse. She had only seen him twice but it was clear he was not what he seemed. Her attention turned to the man as he spoke of things he should not have known. “ the last time i was here we spoke about how you met Falvir, no Ryker is his name. Falvir is just the alias he took as a guardian. You were saying how he almost died trying to defend those children, it made me think. I have a question, do you think he would do that for you and those children? If he did against Elmryia you would not be in the situation, from what you told me he was going to let you die.” She could not help the look of disgust and confusion on her face from that. She knew he would never have let her die, if he did he would not have shattered his soul to save her. She did not remember much about the fight but she remembered what he did. The love of her life broke off a piece of his own soul to keep her alive. If he had not done that she would have died for sure. The man kept speaking completely oblivious to the fact she was furious. “ You also mentioned how terrible of a father you think Silver is, and from the sounds of it he is. He often dumps the poor child off on other people for days on end as he goes galavanting around the kingdom. When he is home he ignores the poor child, it amazes me you could be friends with that man.” that was the last straw for her, Quenya flipped the table and grabbed the man. It was the only time her body moved without being weighed down. She grabbed the man by the throat and tried to squeeze, her hands refused to respond and he just smiled at her. “ Oh my, I guess that is all true or you would not be so angry. You need to let this world go and move onto the next. Let the power of your wondrous soul move onto the next life and supply another the same powers ....” He wanted to say more except his attention was turned to a voice echoing through the darkness. “ Hey Quenya, its me, Raine. I am sorry I have not visited until now, I was bringing Vincent home since Silver had to take an emergency mission. The little bugger teleported me here. It seems he wanted to say hello again.” Vincent's voice entered the mix and it broke her heart. “ Hello.” It was all he had really learned to say beyond a couple dozen words. Raines voice took over again and the man's head turned so hard his neck snapped and his head pointed perfectly in line with the middle of his back. “ I am not sure you can hear me. I hope you can though. Silver came by the library today looking for books about the runes on your neck. I recognized them from our training to hunt Black Witches, the runes match with something I had in my old gear, it was the story of Archmage Rook and how he lost his children. I forgot i even had this book, The sisters always told me this book was junk, it saved our butts more often than not though. I know you remember when we figured out it was a spell book in disguise. The writer mentions something about a spell like this and how it was the real reason the archmage lost his children. ”Its hard to translate though, you were always the one with the ear for languages. “ Behold the great gift of sleep upon the kingdom, The sleep that all beings earn at the end of a long life. Let their souls move on and be power for another in the chain, If death desires it the small shall be chosen so they can live a better life beyond the veil of time. Behold the gift of sleep, deaths only peace.” Raine fell silent for a moment before saying more. “I have no clue if this has relevance. Rook has a note after that, it mentions something about giving in and allowing your soul to be taken. It almost reads like whatever this spell requires….” the man shrieked, causing Raines voice to disappear. The mans composure was broken now it seemed so to did his appearance. His head stayed pointing behind him while the rest of the body turned into a wriggling mass of severed lines and blood. A set of hands grabbed Quenyas and forced them off his neck before he spoke again. His hypnotizing voice was replaced with a strange screaming that struck fear into Quenyas heart. “ I guess i need to force your to realize its is pointless to hang onto a life where no one truly loved you.” the man attacked her but just like the rotting corpse it disappeared and they were suddenly sitting at the table again. It was like nothing ever happened, Quenya even started to doubt that it did. The food was no longer rotting and the man seemed annoyed. “ If you are just going to ignore me maybe i should come back later.” He tried to stand up only to have Quenya grab his hand. “ Please stay, i wont ignore you again.” He smiled and nodded as he sat down again. He was falling right into her hands. “ i will ask my question one more time, what is your decision, let your soul drift in the chain and save the children, or cling to nothing and let them die. I can feel how they wither in your belly and silently cry out for it to stop.” His words cut her deep, Quenya knew her children were fine. She managed to drag up a memory of Senka telling her the children are fine before it cut out and she was alone again. Quenya forced herself to cry as she answered. “ please just let me see their faces just once before i make my decision, if i am to die then i want their faces to be the last thing i see. Please.” Her tears worked as the man wiped his own and nodded. “ you will hold them before your soul finally slips from the world. I have one final question before I unfortunately have to go. What do you know of soul transference, i only ask for research of my own. It would be a shame for a mind like yours to leave without imparting one last piece of knowledge.” The question of magic was surprising but it gave Quenya a glimmer of hope, if she could use magic she could get out. “ I cannot explain it to you and then i would need to practice. My knowledge in that area is fuzzy it has been a long time. Is it alright if i show you?” Her mysterious friend hesitated before agreeing and leaning back. It took her a few minutes to focus and even then she could not cast a spell. It was almost like her mana was not there. Then it was when the man mumbled something into his tea. “ What is he playing at? That was a spell, is he keeping me here.” That was all she could think before she cast the spell she needed. It was not the spell he wanted to see though, instead she cast a spell that should have allowed her to speak telepathically to anyone nearby. The moment the spell was cast she could feel Senka nearby and she managed to get out a few words. “ Senka, i am trapped in madness and look forward to the peace of sleep just like rook.” Her spell was ended as the man stood up and punched her across the face. “ you are dead just accept that already. I think i will let a friend in to convince you of that.” The stranger disappeared and was replaced by the rotting corpse that spoke to her before. Quenyas heart stopped for a moment in fear but the creature didnt move, instead it spoke clearly and sat on the floor. “ that was clever Quenya, I am glad you are figuring this out now. Otherwise you would be like me after awhile. Your little stunt caused that demon to loose control on me for the moment. Now before you ask, i know your name from him, and who i am is an easy one. I am ArchMage Rook. I let myself get taken to get my children's souls back, I failed at that. I have even failed at helping others like you, this time i feel will be different.” Rook picked through the food until he found some carrots and ate a few. “ Oh god how i missed real food, Eating all that rotten crap is torture. I am a vegetarian so all the meat make make sick but its what i have.” He ate a few carrots in silence before he took a drink and cleared his throat. “ it has been so long since I could talk that it hurts. I dont have long so i need you to do something for me. I know you can still use your magic, he didnt take it away when he stormed off. Use a soul spell on me, i know you know a few. I smell Drafaylum blood in you, the spell you must use will allow me to travel through this…hell for lack of a better term. If you do that I can help you.” Quenya wanted to argue but she was willing to do anything to get out of there. She knew something was off but there was more to the story, she needed more information. The task of freeing herself was keeping Quenya from falling into another pit over despair and never wanting to leave this place. She struggled to remember what spell she knew to use but it was like something kept pulling her memories out of her skull and dulling her mind. She could gather the mana she needed to cast the spell but she could not come up with the spell, eventually she gave up and looked at Rook with a defeated look. “ I don't know what is going on, I cannot remember the spell I need. Its like something keeps taking them away from me. I'm sorry I wish I could help and I really want to just…” Quenya sighed and let her hands fall into her lap as she struggled to explain what was going on. Rook did not seem bothered by it and just took the news in stride. “ That is alright, I remember what it was like when I was first trapped here. It will all come back but this needs to happen now.” he fell silent and thought for a moment before his face brightened, at least that is what Quenya thought, his eyes were up and some maggots fell off his face like he was smiling. “ You used telepathy to contact your friend did you not? Connect with me and i think i can help, be warned though my thoughts are rather….Disgusting from centuries of being trapped here. Once you do this i need you to promise me that whenever that vile “ man “ comes around you pretend you cant remember anything.” Rook held out one of his hands for her to take, almost like he trusted her completely. It was rare someone willingly let a telepath into their minds. He held his hand out even as Quenya fidgeted in her chair. She was worried if she connected with him bad things would happen, that was the pattern in this place. Every time she was shown kindness it was immediately replaced by malice and pain. Rook noticed her hesitation and did his best to sooth her uncertainty. “ Nothing will happen that has not already happened my dear. I am the best chance you have of defeating that man and getting out of here. You wont have you mana for long that is guaranteed. Connect with me and lets get you out of here.” She sighed and took rook's hand before starting the connection with him. The moment the connection was made Quenyas mind was filled with horrific images of Rook terrifying and killing others trapped in this strange world. The torrent of memories made it incredibly difficult to keep track of her own thoughts. She felt all of his sadness, and rage at the situation he was in. How much he grieved in forced silence whenever he had to torture the poor souls trapped by the man they were about to fight. His memories shifted suddenly after a few minutes to his life before being trapped in the darkness. He was beloved, a pillar of hope for his small city amidst a war they wanted no part of. He fought off all familiar threats to Quenya, the Carrions, and the Black Witches at the same time. He fought bravely with his people and helped turn the tide of many battles, he thought he had ensured the safety of those he loved until his children were taken by the witches. He hunted them to the ends of their home world until he came face to face with someone they both recognized. Elmryia Fang, the queen of the Black Witches. Their battle lasted for the better part of a day, Neither of them were able to get the upper hand. That was until Elmryia brought out Rooks children, she did not bargain with him she trapped them in the same world Rook and Quenya were in now. Rook tried to give his life for theirs, and Elmryia agreed, she never released them and tortured him for centuries. His memories changed again to when the strange man appeared. He introduced himself as the new warden of this world, he thought Rook was completely broken so he told him secrets he should have never divulged. One of those secrets was what Rook imparted to Quenya. He taught her how to hold onto her memories and a small sliver of her mana if the man ever took hers again. When Quenya finally released his hand Rook suddenly attacked her, the punch he landed on her face took Quenya by surprise and threw her off the chair she was sitting in. The last thing she heard from him through their connection was full of sorrow. “ I am so sorry about this Quenya, he is coming back and i need to do this or the jig is up.” She just nodded and let Rook mercilessly beat her for a few moments before he was gone and the man stood over her. “ It seems our mutual friend is losing his grip on what he needs to do, I will correct that later though. I need to show you something.” The man picked her up and they were suddenly standing in the room Quenya and Falvir were sleeping in. “ they are letting the two of you rot here, alone. They cant help what is helping what is happening to either of you. I can though.” Quenya looked at her body and she looked so sickly and thin it hurt to look, Falvir was the same. Her eyes drifted back to her body and noticed how much her belly had grown in the time she was trapped in that world. She looked like she was ready to give birth any day now, it made her wonder how long she had been trapped. It had to have been months, she remembered only being a couple months pregnant when she married the love of her life. She watched herself in silence until Senka entered the room to check on them. Quenyas perspective looked like she was barely even paying attention to Falvir or herself. The elf checked on the babies with a quick spell before leaving the room. What Quenya did not know was what the man was doing to her mind, She might have seen a frail and sickly woman but in reality she was as healthy as could be. Her skin was bright like she would wake up at any moment and Falvir was being looked over by a student at the academy. She still looked like she was ready to give birth and it confused Senka to no end. The man showed Quenya that Senka just walked out of the room like she did not care at all. The reality of the situation was the elf was doing her best to figure out why the babies had grown so rapidly in such a short time. It was the strange man's doing, whatever spell Quenya was under was also forcing her children to grow at a faster rate. He was showing her what he wanted her to see and it was affecting Quenya deeply. She had all of her memories back but she was still at his mercy as far as what she saw and experienced. They stood there in silence until the man leaned down and whispered into her ear. “ They are forgetting about you already and are just waiting for the babies to be born before they end it. You are just an incubator now so they can steal your children and raise them with no memory of their parents. Your so called friends want nothing more to do with you.” He pulled Quenya back into the darkness the moment she started to sob and fall her to knees, it was there that he left her. Completely alone and struggling to come to terms with what was going on. He was making it feel like there was not way out for her, that even if she tried to get out of this it world be pointless. She cried for who knows how long until Rook was suddenly back into the room, the man was with them for just long enough to watch Rook start beating Quenya again. The second the man was gone Rook stopped and helped Quenya to her feet. “ I have some news for you Quenya, your children are going to be born soon. I am sure it is way to soon for that but he cant have their souls. Not only are they too young to agree but they are being protected by your father. He has been watching over their souls like a hawk, all our vile friend was able to sneak by him was a rapid aging spell. He is running out of time to break you. Elmryia has been wounded too much to even function properly thanks to your friend Silver, Her fight with him left her at death's door and she needs your soul to heal faster. The ....” Rook screamed in sudden pain as the man reappeared and stabbed Rook through the chest. “ So you are the reason she won't break Rook, I had hoped that was not the case. I am going to have to kill you permanently and then do the same to Quenya. Those children can be damned and suffocate in their mothers womb.” He threw Rook to the side so he could move onto Quenya, she was ready for him though. He was met with a blast of white light that burned away the image he was holding on his body. The light revealed what he truly was. The man was a Carrion and a rather powerful one, he had a vaguely human body except for the mass of tentacles coming out of his back. “ You are in my world Quenya, and I always win.” Quenyas battle for freedom finally started in earnest in the darkness but in the real world problems were arising. When she started her battle against the man her body in the real world reacted. Quenyas body started to thrash like she was having a seizure and her water broke. Senka was there when everything started and she immediately called for help. The elf knew time was of the essence and she needed every pair of hands she could get to make sure both Quenya and her children survived. ( This will be continued at a later day; this is just what had happened over the couple months since Quenya and her husband Falvir were put into a coma.)

Heims 23rd, 10,016 My heart still aches. Thus is the life of a human, right? Who the hell ever volunteers for this? I knew things would only get harder for them. This world is full of evil, despite the façade of peace and charity. Who else would watch over them? Who else to record the history for the future generations? Who else to make sure existence continues on? We were mistaken...We had discussed how easy it would be to just watch from afar. We said it would be so simple to keep our nose to the grind and not get involved. How could I? They are like....children to me. These children need more than someone to just watch. But 'just watch' is all we are allowed to do. I watched time go by. Visitors come and go. Arguments resolve and love blossom. Seasons change and people grow. I mistakenly thought things might calm. How wrong I was. My tavern...the one fucking thing I had that was a constant. Why couldn't she just listen to me? Why could that fucking mutt man listen? Now look at them. Destroyed alongside my home. Had Barska and Aya and Stacy not come back, I would still be trying to piece the damn thing back together. You know what the worst part is? It's not really the tavern that has my heart and mind captured. The end is coming....will they be ready? Will they live? The only peace I have experienced in the past few days has been the quiet mutterings of dwarves as they argue among themselves. That can't be healthy.

Stirps 3rd 9400 I wasn't really looking forward to traveling to Dun'Lorn...so I should be happy we are not going. Yet, something keeps bothering me about not going. Perhaps I want to get out of this city for a while. I wonder if they would notice me gone for a few days? I know it is a silly thought. They watch me like a hawk. I could not simply disappear. I love my parents, and they love me. I guess I will stay this time.

It is near the end of this realm's Summer, I believe. Jerome has died and It's my fault. We were in battle with one of the beings corrupted by Timothy. One of Silver's old kids, Luna, actually. The one that shot me last time, Shadow, cancelled out Falvir. Something got in my head right before things escalated, and I managed to fight it off long enough to get a good hit in. I thought we might have had it, and got too focused on the thing ransacking my memories and feelings. She shot Jerome point blank with some splash of that accursed acid. I couldn't hear him and what he was saying before, likely because of the presence in my psyche. I got it to back off, and I heard Jerome ask me to kill him. The first thing I actually used my firearm on was my friend. The only one I had left of my realm is dead. I have to carry that weight now, and I will. I will bear all this weight so long as I can still breathe, and beyond that if I can. I will see my friends restored. As for Jerome, he's buried now. Falvir and Quenya made a statue of him with me on it and I can't stand to look at it. I shouldn't be up there. Senka took some of his feathers and put them in my coat, among other things. I appreciate the concern, but I can't say I'm not mad that she did it while I was out. Currently, I'm waiting for my body to heal itself. Falvir has consistently spoken of higher magic, teleportation, and recently something about bringing Jerome back. I don't think I want to bother with it anymore. With most of all the stuff I need here being illegal or apparently too complicated, I don't know if I'll actually get around to learning what I wish to know. I can get stuff down really fast, I don't know why he's held out on me. Most of all we've studied has been combat oriented, and I can't help but think that bloodshed got me into all this mess, though at the same time, it can't be helped, not anymore at least. It's just not what I need. Maybe he's just disappointed in me or something like that. Senka and Silver gave me some books to help with this thing haunting me, Senka giving me something with general information about teleportation. I already have two solid forms of it down, best I could do is maybe shave a few seconds off the long distance one, but that would require more time to alter my core formulas for the spell. I guess if anything, I'm aggravated that I've accomplished little to nothing. Simul's boogie man apparently has his sights on me too, which makes my next few plans all the dumber. I plan to wander this land, perhaps seek solutions from other arcane institutes or fellow magic practitioners. I'll try to maintain my lair here in the castle, but I need to seek for answers somewhere else. They may be here, just not where I'm allowed to look, or are too powerful for me to have. As for whatever the hell's gotten in my head, I've come to what I could describe as a truce with it. The thing seems more interested in my experiences prior to Simul, and sometimes I let it take me on nostalgia trips. It's a pleasant sort of thing, but there are times I want it out of my head. As I'm writing this, I had to shoo it out with one of the spells I've developed thanks to Falvir's rather brief instruction. During my battle with Luna, I awoke the Draconic Incarnation supposedly available to my kin. A rudimentary form of it, only half a dragon's skeleton, but a segment of it nonetheless. My birthright pulled me through that fight, and while uncertain, I believe Jerome had some hand in its appearance. The conjuration of the form is painful. I felt like my body was being torn from my vessel, and whenever the construct was damaged I could feel like my bones were being broken. I want to train with it further. It saved me from the profane magic Luna wielded. Furthermore, some other odd things have begun to happen to my vessel. My teeth and jaws seem to be stronger, and I've this indescribable recurrent hunger for no food, but some immaterial energy, perhaps mana itself? It worries me, but if the opportunity arises I think I might just bite the shit out of someone if they start something, and see what happens. Prior to this big mess, I did get around to talking to the Tokuros, and they actually have a solution for how I could get to my realm. It'd be a suicide mission, I think, and I would be receiving some gift created by a deity I know little about, so I'm hesitant. At the same time, it's an answer, so if I don't find anything else, I've got a way. From there, I'll just find something in my realm if it's all unavailable in Simul, I know for a fact there's probably still something there. Of course, if there's anyone who had the magic, they might not be able to use it if at all because the serpent's gone, as is it's flow of mana. I'll find a way. I have to figure out what I'm going to do without my friend. I need to update one of the Tokuros, too. We both had griffons, and at the time Jerome wanted to acquire a mate. It seemed like a good idea to help him out like that. I'm sad that I never told him, though in dying he might have been more disappointed. Not sure when I'll update this next, maybe when I actually get something done.

Dissilio 26th 9400 Sometimes I wish I could not wake up. For some reason...I don't want to tell them that.

Fuck if I know what day it is. Simul's weird. Either that, or I'm sleep deprived. I'm probably sleep deprived. ~ADDENDUM: It was the 20th of Stirps.~ As of late, problems from when I got drunk off my ass have been surfacing in the form of a handful of letters. I figured out some of what I did at Mary's, including why she stabbed me. It's hard to even think about what I've done, especially since I have little to no recollection of it. I just wish I went straight into training with Falvir, though at that point I might not have awoken my visual prowess. I went fishing at Lake Torra to take my mind off of it, and for a moment it worked. Damn shame some lady came careening out of the sky and nearly took out me and Jerome. Lost my lunch too. Her name is Arah, and she was a member of some "Urgent Messages Guild" like I'm supposed to know what that is. If it's the mail faction that's been allowing me contact with those beyond Castle Drafaylum's walls, they have both blessed and cursed me with knowledge. Arah, for example, was bringing good tidings regarding my doings at Miss Barcet's farm, in which I became an impromptu exterminator, as well as a fine bottle of wine. I'm glad that Faemill's alright, honestly, though it was unintentionally taunting when she sent a 50 year old wine bottle with her letter. Arah is very kind, hell, kind to a fault I'll get to later. Naive as hell too, reminded me of myself on first impressions. Doesn't look half bad either, her eyes are particularly beautiful. She sought to learn my lightning magic when I revealed my apparent doings at the Barcet Farm. I tried my best to teach her the gestures to a base form of Vorpal Storm, only for it to burn her hand. I tried again with a different rendition and it just got really fucked up. The girl has some deposit of what I assume to be mana gifted to her by the god she worships from her home realm, and it clashes immensely with arcane spells. It caused the lightning to coalesce in her hand as opposed to extending from it, which threw me off for the little time I had to think about it. I ended up trying to call off the lesson because I realized I was doing a piss poor job teaching, as I just tried to teach her what signs to use to channel the spell, and not the nature of the signs themselves. I can't repeat the mistakes of the past. The reason she nearly ran me over with her odd vehicle was because a harpy decided to knock her out of the sky after losing a street race. Said harpy returned with a posse of 6 other harpies armed with clubs, a sword, an axe, a bow, and a firearm. Me and Jerome went to go fight them, and Arah told me not to gut them all. I tried to oblige, I told them to piss off before I was forced to slaughter them and the gunslinger just raised their gun and tried to put one between my eyes. Jerome jerked downward and I jerked back and it nearly split my head. Luckily it just parted my flesh, but at the same time I could have just fucking died then and there and it's a feeling I'm used to but it feels so wrong compared to how I'm used to feeling. Did I lose my edge? I didn't get unnerved when I barely survived that, I cut them all apart immediately. Should have field tested Mortality to be honest but that's besides the point. Arah got pissy with me after I returned to kill the one that approached her, and it willingly subjected itself to the still active spell in Arah's hand. I left shortly after that. Told her that my magic is meant for killing people, and that if she wanted to learn it then she needed to be ready to take a life. I took the firearm and dumped it off at Barska's forge before I hauled ass to find some bandages or something. Senka found me and lended me a hand with the situation, and I went to lie down. I'm writing this shortly after I awoke, it's dark outside now. The feeling about before has passed, but the memory remains. Still don't know why I felt that way. Reminds me, some not so recent event was that I encountered that man, Orion. Bastard IS from Ysteraan, but not mine though. He took me there. Took me to Fell Dagger, or whatever the hell they called it there. I saw them. My friends. Me. Fucking, Me. They were just living the dream at that point, looked stacked as hell. The other me had a nice looking sword. I wanted to say something, I just didn't know what to say. We left when Jorrucian noticed Orion, who's apparently Jorru's godfather in that world. I hope getting to my realm isn't going to be difficult if entire worlds can just coexist like that. Hell I hope mine still exists. I think I might just show up to the hotsprings east of here, ask around if that Kurisu fellow is still alive. Man said he'd write to me if he was still alive and I don't know how long it's been since I got that letter. At the bare minimum least, it's been a month. The big takeaway if you're reading this entry of my ramblings is that if you have armor for your face you should probably wear it. I should have.

Stirps 10th 9400 I think I have decided what to get my parents, but I will wait before I write it down. It has to be perfect. Between the pages, below the two sentences, a dry pressed tiger lily flower, perfectly flat had stained the thick paper.

Stirps 5th 9400 This morning, my mom said something that didn't hit me until this afternoon. "We are all blessed. What we choose to do with our blessings can either create or destroy. None of us are born vile. That is something we choose to become." Such a conversation started because of my nightmare. I told her about it. How I had been such a terrible person. It almost felt like I was awake, inside of my own mind, but I could not control myself or the direction in which things transpired. I knew I was dreaming, but I could not force myself awake. I watched behind my own eyes as my body did things...terrible things. Things that the people here say I will become eventually. I woke without air. I couldn't scream. All I could do was sit in my sweat and try to catch my breath. I am glad I told her. I am glad that I have my parents. It makes me feel bad even considering going out on my own. What would I ever do without them?

Dissilio 27th 9400 My mother always says "Memories are all we leave behind." I suppose she is right. Though the days seem bad sometimes, I don't want to leave behind memories of me being destroyed by them. I don't want my family to remember me as someone who was broken or defeated by life. I may not be like the others, but I am still a good person. I have to believe that, lest the sad part of me change my mind for the worst. I made today a good day. I even left the house by myself again. I heard the whispers and watched their eyes avert, but it did not stop me from visiting my favorite sweet shop. I even had enough to buy my parents their favorite treats. A apple pastry for mom and a raspberry drizzled one for dad. Lucky for them, I didn't eat them before I got home. It's almost like mom had read my mind. She prepared my favorite for dinner. Steak and eggs and so many different cheeses, I wasn't sure if I could eat it all! This was a memory I wanted to remember.

It has been awhile since my last entry in this journal. Life has kept me pretty busy as of late, my family is finally back together. The school is doing great and the students seem to be enjoying their classes. Well that is debatable as of late, students seems uncomfortable with the fact that guardians and other allies of mine show up at the castle wounded and damn near begging for help. I have had to institute a rule for my allies that essentially bans them from the rest of the school beyond the infirmary and a special part of the castle i have had created just for them. This entire problem started when Boone came to the castle carrying Quenya, and Falvir down a hallway full of students. It would not have been that bad but it seems a few students recognize Boone as someone who should not be trusted or allowed onto the castle grounds. The day Boone brought Quenya back in the shape she was in i did not know what to do, it was the first time she had actually been wounded like that. It was bad enough i felt like my heart was going to explode, i felt every moment of her life slowly slipping away. All i felt was pain but deep down it was something else. It was fear, the fear of losing the other half of myself. I know most people would not understand that pain, i am sure some do though. The connection between a void walker and the one they are bonded to is a powerful one, if either one dies there is a chance the other will die with them. If Quenya died i know i would have not died with her, i would have become and different person for sure. the pain would never go away and my madness would not have something to fight against except myself. She helped me so much in keeping the madness at bay, i have no clue how long it would be before i was no longer the man everyone knew and loved. I am going to end this on a good note though, Senka was able to stabilize Quenya and Falvir. It is a small victory considering they are both in a coma right now, she even managed to heal Boone enough to get him out of the castle. He keeps coming back though, he says it to check in on Lyanna and Vincent. I think that is part of it, another part of it is he finally found a place that accepts him and is willing to help him. The man might be an insufferable ass but that is not his fault. He just needs to stop scaring my students.